apocalypse theory

Conversations with my brother in law in the weekend have made me realise that I need to really get to grips with where I stand on current apocalypse theory. Not university origin academic paper type apocalypse theory where I read everything available on the subject and then make my own careful and carefully objective summation and consideration of the issues at stake.

This is rather practical and I need to make these decisions without spending half a lifetime reading academic papers.

I have, like many far more erudite people before me, noticed that there is a strong tendency in human nature to perceive apocalypses or apocalyptic events as a part of our stories. I first encountered it as a seventeen year old doing my final high school year of history when we studied Reformation England and I learnt about millenial cults and also about predestination. My teacher, a man I recall with considerable respect for his wry observations, explained the idea of predestination to us. After telling us that the idea of predestination was that everyone is born either detined for heaven or hell, he observed that he'd never met a predestination follower who didn't believe they were going to heaven.

Well actually I first encountered apocalypse theory a few years earlier when a 13 year old boy told me the world was going to end in the year 2000. He was really frightened, and still a shade too young to suggest that while time was running out he really should get on and shag every young woman in town like that fellow Andrew Marvell.

Religious people have apocalypse stories aplenty. The Second Coming never ever ever centres on the possibility that Jesus already came back down again to be a cleaner in South America and ended up running a needle exchange programme in Bolivia and forgot to save the rest of the world.

But religious people do not have the last word on apocalypse stories and beliefs. If you are not religious but a bit of apocalypse is what you fancy, then I highly recommend getting involved in environmental agitation. You don't need to agitate to anyone else particularly; read enough on global warming and depleted food stocks and genetically modified seed and you'll be quite agitated without even leaving your seat at the world wide web.

The nuclear bunkers were a form of apocalypse fear. I think there was more going on in the seventies than that but I was too caught up learning how to use the toilet instead of nappies around that time. I remember macrame and the Pope being assasinated but that's of limited usefulness to this topic.

Anyway, the reason I have to think about how far down the greenie apocalypse path I am, is that I have to decide whether I think the world is going to fall into an abyss literally without oil to line the cogs of post-industrial society, or whether we are going to keep on cycling on economically. Undulating hills of economic growth and retraction. Or a tsunami.

My brother in law who visited in the weekend denies being a National Party supporter. Indignantly he tells me that he voted for Lange's fourth labour party. hmpffffffffff. He spent much time telling me that indeed he and some nutter who sent me an email about kiwisaver are correct that now is exactly the time to be understanding the wisdom of investing in high risk kiwi saver portfolios. He wasn't being ironic.

So am I going to put faith in the peak oil literature and go off grid, put my money under the mattress and find a grain which will grow here in smallwettown? Or put my faith in large financial institutions and invest in a high risk kiwi saver portfolio? I've got chooks, leeks silverbeet and if you ever wanted confirmation that I was overly influenced by watching The Good Life, I'm even growing chamomile in order to make my own herbal tea this summer. I think the soundest decision I can make is to grow my own hops so we can get drunk independently of big business.

Andrew Marvell with his fancy To His Coy Mistress poem, was definitely looking for a root, in the parlance of university life outside of the lecture theatre. Here in these could be maybe apocalyptic days, sex is still a wonderful thing, but a piece of hop plant root to prepare for home brewing days would be the icing on the cake.