Mercy

In many ways, today was a good one. I found four nice tops and nearly 100gms of New Zealand made sock wool (i.e. old wool as no sock wool is made in New Zealand now) at the Salvation Army charity shop. Fionn and I had a lovely time making gingerbeer (the mixing and bottling phase) and then planting beetroots and brassicas in the garden. We planted some of the brassicas in generous pockets of potting mix straight into the compost which I had layered thickly on one of the raised beds. Later all four of us got involved in shifting the grass clippings (gifted to us by the local school groundsperson) from the front of the house to various compost spots. Later again we looked after our friend's 20 month old son, spending the sun filled summer evening at the playground by the beach near us and then watching as the children and the chooks clucked and chuckled at each other again and again and again. Once our young friend had gone home I made beet kvass for the first time. Beet kvass is something I would never have considered not long ago, but my success with kefir has inspired some more fermenting adventure.

Pretty good huh? But it could have been the end of my world. I thought it was amazingly easy and wonderful that I could try on clothes at the Sallies and the children would play happily in the playpen. I should have thought about their gymnastic abilities in other avenues of their lives. Just as I was thinking that I had heard Fionn's voice but not Brighid's recently, I heard my daughter wail and a staff member asked who this baby belonged to. I opened the curtain and there was Brighid in her arms. I ran to get her, not caring that I had only a long top and knickers on. The staff person had found her on the road. The main road through smallwettown. State Highway.

I am so so so lucky that God had mercy on me, that I didn't lose my daughter, my world. Every time I look at her today and tonight, each time I think of her, I am grateful that she is alive. I could have killed her with my neglect and I nearly did.

So the garden and the sunshine and the gingerbeer and kvass and the house and all those things are nice, but really they are nothing. Favourite Handyman and Fionn and Brighid and I are alive.